BOYS/MEN : ARE THEY REALLY FROM MARS?

As the saying goes, “Men are from Mars, women are from Venus”. I think that the majority of us girls can relate to this simple fact: we do not understand guys and, no matter how hard we try to, may never be able to—as a matter of fact, the majority of us don’t want to, or have given up trying. But that doesn’t mean we won’t freak out when we boldly snapchat the guy we like, or when we decide to text him first at 8:00 and he doesn’t respond at 7:59.

All jokes aside, though, here’s the case in point: What on earth do most (teenage) guys do, think, and feel when it comes to girls?

I took the initiative of asking a few of my closest girl-friends what they would ask any guy if they could, and once I was through with that, I chose 4 or 5 of the most popular questions, then took it upon myself to (awkwardly) ask a few guy friends of my own—because we all have to take one for the team sometimes, right? (You can thank me later). 

I interviewed five different guys—Isaiah, Miles, Naeem, Isaiah (yes, another Isaiah, who will later be referred to as Zay to avoid confusion), and Darrion—all of which are juniors at my high school. They answered each question as honestly as they could (I certainly hope so, anyways)—so, without further ado, here is the interview!

1. What do guys wish that girls knew/understood about them?

“We don’t know the signs that they’re trying to put out,” Miles stated. “Yeah! You have to tell us what you want—you can’t just assume that we know what you’re talking about,” Isaiah added on. Zay went with a slightly different answer, saying “I wish they knew about my sensitive side…that I’m not trying to use them.” Naeem’s answer was more similar to Zay’s in context—”[I wish they knew] That the majority of us are extremely faithful. Not every guy is a player.” Surprise, Surprise! Darrion agreed with Zay—”Guys can be sentimental too,” He claimed. In summary, guys may seem barbaric, but they’re not as barbaric as they seem—like any regular human being, guys have feelings, too. But you must still beware—guys, like us girls, are not mind readers. To be honest, us girls had no clue!

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2. What do most guys look for in a girl?

“Well,” Miles began, “Uh…” He had to think a little. A few “uh’s” and “um’s” later, all he could give me was this—”Most guys look at appearance. But if they actually want to, like, be with a girl, they’ll look more at her personality. Also, if she doesn’t irritate you.” (In the back, Isaiah is screaming “just tell me what you want!”—I think it’s pretty evident that guys don’t like having to figure girls out). Zay, the more open-minded of the group, said “I look at her heart.” Of course, we all laughed—but in retrospect, I respect the genuine response. Props to you, Zay!

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Darrion and Naeem agreed with Zay, in the sense that personality was key. “You can’t be dry (boring). You have to be fun, have a sense of humor.” In summary, guys will instinctually take in the appearance of any girl they see—but beauty is still only skin deep for some, Zay reminds us, and what really matters if things are going to get real between you two is your personality and whether or not the two of you can actually kick it.

3. What do girls (subconsciously) do that annoys guys?

“Oh my God,” Miles says, fully prepared to answer the question. “When they just want to have arguments for no reason,” Isaiah intervened. “They say they don’t like drama, to argue, and to be petty; but then end up being intentionally petty just to have arguments for no reason at all.” Can you think of a time when you’ve done this? I listened to him speak with guilt. “Yep,” Zay added. This seemed to be the only time he agreed with his peers on an answer. Miles clearned his throat. “When they’re obviously mad, but you try to help them out, and they say nothing is wrong. Then they continue the conversation, being extremely boring and stuff.” (Because in the year 2016, yes, we can tell how you’re feeling through text.) In essence, Isaiah helped me to realize, it’s when us girls hit guys with the classic “I’m fine” response. “Are you really fine, though?” He spoke, with an eye-roll.

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4. How can a girl tell that a guy likes them, rather than when they’re just being friendly?

“They’re just gonna act like,” Miles started off, “Different. Like, they would say things they wouldn’t normally say, or they wouldn’t try to be themselves. They would try to be like…cooler, or like, they would filter themselves.” Isaiah agreed with Miles, and then added on his own opinion. “It depends on how often they talk to you. If they look in your eyes during the whole conversation, then they probably like you.” In this moment, I thought “yikes”—I mean, to us girls, it does seem the slightest bit uncomfortable to have a boy stare into our souls when we just want to know whether or not they have a pencil we can borrow.

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(R.I.P to Brad and Angelina on the sides tho)

Naeem and Darrion had similar responses. “It’s when they go the extra mile to do things they usually don’t do,” Naeem began. “Yeah,” added Darrion. “Like helping with the homework, and—Oh, this is a really big one! Buying you food!” (Buying girls food is, indeed the key to their hearts—good job, Darrion). “If they really like you,” He says, “They’ll do it in intervals. They’re not trying to scare you away, they’re trying to build that relationship. If they just want to hook up with you, they’ll probably do it more often.” 

Lastly, I asked what a girl can do to let a guy know that she’s into him. Each guy responded to me with the same thing—let them know! No, you don’t have to corner them and scream it in their face, but at the same time, you can’t expect them to know because you stare at the side of his face every five minutes during English class. 

That being said, hopefully this interview helped you girls to understand just a little bit how guys function—and, despite us being different species entirely, I think it’s safe to say that we’ve been able to work together to create great things. 

All the best, 

Jayla

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